it's been a long time, a really long time...

In the last couple of months I've looked at my email maybe once a week and generally only used the computer for work and filing for about 8 hours total. I feel sort of guilty about not updating the blog and not keeping up with much of anything. I have read about 5 books in that time and enjoyed that.
Peter became pretty sick in that time too. He had this never-ending cold that turned into pink eye and an ear infection by mid-April. He was treated but we ended up bringing him a couple more times in May and getting more drugs that seem to have helped him out. Now he's just a little "snarfy" in the mornings. I was starting to lose it a little while he was so sick, especially after taking him to the ER one evening and not really finding much to help (other than re-propping his crib so that he had better drainage). It's very difficult when you feel helpless to do anything for your little one.
Two of Peter's teeth have come in (although that contributed to his sick symptoms, it wasn't the sole cause) and he occasionally uses them to chomp Dave and I. My sister and brother-in-law's child had his first birthday already. We haven't traveled much in the last couple of months and it's been nice to lie low for a while. I started to bring Peter to story time at the library. I don't think he listens that well to the books, but he loves to see the other children. As of yesterday he started to roll over both ways frequently and without any problem. It seemed sort of sudden since he could do it for over a month but had trouble and didn't seem to care to do it much.
I just had a tooth taken out. All four of my wisdom teeth had been extracted when I was 20 but a year or two later another tooth could be seen on an x-ray high up in my gums. The tooth finally came down while I was pregnant and this week I had it removed because I couldn't really brush it adequately and figured it should come out sooner than later. I sort of forgot what it was like having teeth pulled and found the experience to be a little frightening just because it seemed like more pressure and work (on the dentist's part) than anticipated. The tooth just had one fat root and looks like a small molar.
Dave had a band concert the same day I had my tooth pulled, originally I was possibly going to help out the 9th grade flute players by playing along on "Stars and Stripes Forever." Dave ended up pulling the piece (probably to be played next year) which was fortunate for me since I didn't really think through the recovery of the gum and how it would affect my playing. The concert was good and many people in the district very much appreciate Dave, very important in a small school where music could be cut in a pinch. Dave only has one week of school with students left, soon he will be Peter's caretaker two days a week and we will bring Peter to his regular provider once a week. I wanted him to have at least a little consistency with the daycare since he will go back 3 days a week in September and I believe his psychological maturity in the next few months may make it a rougher transition if he were to go 3 months without seeing anyone at daycare and then be thrown back into it half the week.
As I probably could have guessed, my more concrete goals on the list of 30 are being accomplished pretty well, and the more abstract/social-emotional goals are falling behind... I think I've maintained status quot with Dave. Being tired and sick (me = tired, occasionally sick, Peter and Dave = sick, also tired from time to time) has given me an easy but poor excuse to not devote true quality time to marriage. I'm not saying that our marriage is not good, just that I'm not putting the work into it that I should because I've been expending energy on Peter (very justified and important) and trying to keep myself healthy and up on chores, and honestly, I've been spending time reading and watching tv that could be cut back. Mostly I write this paragraph with the intention of refocusing on being loving and being visibly/audibly thankful for Dave (because I am thankful, it's just not expressed well). I will have to reevaluate in another month or so.
Currently Dave is out of town and I'm being visited by my mom. She's with grandma right now and Peter has been taking an amazing nap, so much that we might miss story time. Time to catch up on other online stuff as long as the nap continues... I'm still used to 30-40 min naps from Peter but lately he's been throwing some 1-2 hour naps in the mix. I would love it if he would continue. The more mobile he becomes the more I will need his naps to lengthen so I can get chores done.

update 2

Wow, it's been a long time... Peter is 5 months old now and we've started giving him rice cereal. It's so exciting to me, even a highlight of my day (guess that's mommy-hood for you). He has a pretty bad cold right now that involves lots of congestion and coughing but I think it's getting better. No fever at least.

Work has been going pretty well, I'm getting a little better at knowing what to do. I had a review at the beginning of the month that went pretty well, I need need to work on taking initiative and having confidence but otherwise it sounds like they are pleased with my work.

Dave has been busy with fundraiser type events for his big Chicago trip (taking the jr. and sr. high students there over an extended weekend in April) and with pep band, girls basketball is doing pretty well.

As for my "30" list...

Accomplished: 6. Pay off our car (this was very recent and was possible because of the contract being settled at Dave's school and because of our tax refund), 19. Go out to eat sans Peter

In progress: 2. Mark b-days and communicate, 4. Eat dinner at the table (mostly going very well), 11. Meal plan (mixed results, but my cooking has been much better since January), 14. Eat veggies (getting better), 15. Read books (I'm on book 4 for the year), 17. Peter sleep schedule (he's starting to sleep through the night and stay up for longer periods during the day, I may abandon a true schedule as long as he's taking naps and going to bed between 6-8pm), 18. Drink water, 20. Visit grandma, 21. play flute (slow start but it's been fun now that I'm doing it), 27. P goes skiing... this may not happen, but I may substitute taking him around in his sled.

Seasonal (not happening yet): 3. P's b-day party, 24. mine dump cliff jump, 26. P swimming, 29. canoeing, 30. garage sale

Not accomplished: 1. P's college fund, 5. news (although sometimes I catch some on NPR), 7. increase savings, 8. week w/o technology, 9. more family time, 10. crabby control, 12. trip plans, 13. house plants, 16. will, 22. cleaning, 23. file cabinet, 25. Dave love, 28. oreo cake (this is coming up soon, I have all of the ingredients - including ones that will expire within a week).

update

Since I wrote my list of 30 things to do I have gotten a tiny bit of a start on some of the things and not started others. Shortly after my birthday both Dave and I got sick with a stomach bug/flu. I used it as an excuse for not starting some of the things, like playing flute (still haven't) and cleaning. I have started making meal plans and have been eating healthier (getting that extra serving of vegetables). I started work again and Dave's teacher union and the school board finally settled last April's contract so we should be doing a little better financially... doesn't mean we'll pay off the car, but maybe we can get close to meeting my savings goal. I wrote down people's birthdays on my calendar and we've been pretty good about sitting down to dinner together. Peter's not always on board with sitting down to dinner. Lately he seems to want to sit upright and many of his contraptions have him laying back. I read one baby book (about babies, not a book for babies, I've read several stories to Peter). Some of the items are seasonal but I need to keep the cross-country skiing one in mind since there will probably only be a few days where it will be warm and cold enough for that.

I'm probably most disappointed about eating at the fancy Italian place. Dave and I will still be going out to eat this Tuesday, but I just found out that the Italian place closed. Apparently it was very expensive and not enough people were eating there but it's mostly depressing because my parents had given us a spendy gift certificate for that restaurant. I will have to look into whether there is any reimbursement, I guess we should have just hauled Peter along and gone before January when they closed.

warning: dead animal pictures

Last weekend we celebrated new year's in Duluth with friends. On Sunday Dave commented on how much snow was on the roof and how he should shovel, but he could feel sickness coming on (I was sick already) and didn't want to strain himself and make it worse. At 2:15am on Monday (one of Peter's feedings) I heard a loud crack above me and envisioned Peter buried alive in an avalanche. Apparently the loud noise was just the house shifting because of the extreme cold (it was -23º F at 9am that day), but I didn't want to take chances so on Tuesday I decided to take on the roof snow. Dave stayed home sick as a dog that day so every time I put Peter down for a nap I went out knowing he could grab him or call for me if Peter needed something.

I knew it would be a big job, but I wasn't prepared for how much snow I would be moving. I figured with Dave home and multiple chances to get out there I would have the whole thing done no problem. Pictured here is my handiwork...














And here is a shot of just how deep that snow was, along with a shovel for perspective (though the shovel is lying at an angle, I would say it was deeper than knee-high).







So that was about a couple hours of work, oh, what? There's still another side to the roof and the entire garage?! Sigh.
I don't remember if I wrote about our flying squirrels or not. This summer we discovered that flying squirrels were camping out in the roof over the porch. On Tuesday while shoveling I saw one scurry up a tree and glide down to another. I found this very strange since they are nocturnal and I believe they hibernate, but I guess my stomping around up there scared it. Not only that but as I got to the end of the roof to check out their little burrow hole...

I looked over the edge and saw something in the snow...


was that? yep, frozen stiff...














So after about 3-4 hours of shoveling I cleared off the house, but not the garage. Wednesday, my birthday, I was sore, my back, shoulders, left forearm, and even my hands ached. Today I decided to take it easy and only take care of the mess I made in front of our front door.





To do this took 40 minutes so I treated myself to a nap and later on a bath, foot scrub, and leg shave (Dave noticed my cave woman look the other day so I decided it was time). Now I just need to tackle the mountain of dishes and wash Peter's diapers. Notice the nice breath frost all over my hair.

Oh, and it was Peter's 3 month birthday on Tuesday!

First day back

I had my first day back at work since Peter was born. It went well. I need to get up a little earlier since everything takes me forever even though my outfit, lunch, pump, Peter's bag, and Peter's bottles were all ready. I had assumed that he would sleep in, but he just snoozed for the majority of my semi-short shower and from then on I had to check on him and keep him from sliding out of his chair (he was in a sleep bag and couldn't really be buckled in). I also changed him into a real outfit for daycare and in the future may opt to leave him in a sleeper (with legs, so he can be strapped into the car seat).

I had typed a short (3 paragraph, half page, size 14 font) note about his sleeping, eating, and gooey eye and brought a photo of Dave since no one at the daycare had met him and he was picking Peter up. When I gave it to the daycare lady I told her my excuse was that I was a first-time mom and that I knew that she probably already knew it all - she was very gracious and even gave me a hug when I left.

Peter fell asleep in the last couple minutes of our ride to the daycare so he was asleep for the transition and I felt guilty that he would be waking up to strange faces. I was pretty teary (not officially crying) on the way to work and then again once when a co-worker asked me how I was doing (still early - I hadn't clocked in yet). I think I did pretty well though. My mantra as I drove was, "he will be fine, everything is fine." The thing is that I really did believe he would be fine physically, and psychologically (at least in the long run). I just felt sad that we wouldn't be together for about 9 hours after never being apart for more than 4 hours, and was worried he would be upset about all the strangers.

Once I got to working things went really well. I enjoyed filing again and talking to adults. I almost forgot about all of the work drama, it got a little awkward at times, but I'm still glad to be back. It sounds like I get to do inventory now. Unfortunately I don't think I get to go back to pharmacy (at least not now) but I have to admit that I'm excited to not be solely on the sales floor. I was pretty antsy to get going the last 30 minutes and of course the HR lady started talking to me right about when I wanted to sign out for the day but I still got home in time to feed Peter.

I think his day may have been semi-rough even though no one's said anything about it. The skin around his eye was a little pink and he seemed really tired when I got home. The daycare lady also suggested to Dave that we send a blanket with, not for warmth, but because it would smell like home. Her house has a distinct smell of dryer sheets so I'm wondering if that would over-power the home smell but it's worth a try. Peter only drank about 13-14 ounces and seems pretty hungry tonight. I sent almost 20 ounces with him so it's a shame to throw the extra out, but it's thawed and unusable.

Dave's sick and Peter and I are recovering. Dave is planning to call in sick tomorrow if he doesn't feel any better, he's already in bed and it's only 8pm. If he stays home I can shovel the roof and get a bunch of laundry done... not that I want him to be sick. Hopefully Peter starts to eat and sleep better at daycare. the end :)

30 things to do before I turn 30

I'll be turning 29 in a few days and stole this idea from another friend, though she has more time to get her goals done and hers were more fun/intriguing. Some of my goals are easy and some may not actually be accomplished, but I figured they were at least a little more likely to if I wrote them down.

1. Talk to a "financial person" and start Peter's college fund
2. Mark down birthdays on my calendar and at least acknowledge each person
3. Plan a 1st birthday party for Peter (even if it's not big)
4. Eat dinner at the dining room table as a family every night it's possible (= no tv, no pep band)
5. Read or listen to news once a week (it's a start, I'm pretty bad)
6. Pay off our car
7. Increase our savings by 10%
8. Go one full week without the computer, internet, netflix, tv
9. Start more family times (Sunday evening games?)
10. Be less crabby... I will have to work on what this will look like (Dave notices, I express myself in better/calmer ways, I don't use any swear words, etc.)
11. Make a meal plan each week
12. Have an outline for future trips to the coasts and how to finance them
13. Acquire more house plants and don't let them die
14. Eat one more serving of vegetables every day
15. Read at least 12 books
16. Have a will written
17. Get Peter on some type of sleep schedule
18. Drink enough water each day
19. Go out to eat at that fancy Italian place while grandma babysits
20. Visit my grandma more often
21. Play flute twice a week
22. Stick to a cleaning schedule
23. Organize my file cabinet
24. Jump off that cliff at the mine dump
25. Tell Dave that I love him more often
26. Take Peter swimming
27. Take Peter cross-country skiing
28. Make an oreo cake
29. Go canoeing
30. Have a garage sale

stolen from Becky...

1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before? Had a baby

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I've almost never made a New Year's resolution, but I would like to tone my abs and eat healthier

3. Did anyone close to you have a child? Yes, 3 of our friends, Dave's brother, and 2 of my cousins had babies.

4. Did anyone close to you die? Yes, my grandma Vivian died the day after Peter was born.

5. Where did you travel? Duluth, Ogilvie, Twin Cities, New Prague, Oslo, Norway, and London, England (I had layovers in Philadelphia, Amsterdam, and Germany but I don't really count those).

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010? Better meal planning and a healthier diet, I didn't lack that but it needed improvement. Also a nice tax refund, especially since we had to pay in last year.

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory? October 4th (Peter) and October 5th (Vivian)

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Maintaining a healthy pregnancy and giving birth were very big to me, and of course the outcome of a healthy baby. Doing it without drugs was also a major feat, I didn't believe I could do it until it was over with.

9. What was your biggest failure? Not planning trips well enough (feeling like I was always cutting someone short on time) and keeping in contact with people.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I did very well I think. Some stitches after birth and a cold later on, but nothing worth complaining about.

11. What was the best thing you bought? Tickets to Oslo and London, it was a fun trip.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? There were a lot of people, basically all of our friends and family who have supported the pregnancy and/or Peter in some way, from gifts to advice, to food it's been really nice.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? I have to admit that I was disappointed at times in some of my coworkers, but I don't know if I would go as far as saying appalled and depressed.

14. Where did most of your money go? Health insurance. My "fun" money went toward my trip and toward regular expenses in the last few months.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? I got excited about being pregnant, then about my trip, then about swimming this summer, then about Peter, and finally about Christmas.

16. What song will always remind you of 2010? I guess "California Gurls" by Katy Perry, just because I feel like I heard it a lot and the music video sticks in my head.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer? Happier, fatter (barely), poorer (at least as far as our checking account goes).

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Relaxed and made meal plans. I really wish I had relaxed on Christmas eve.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? I wish I'd wasted less time watching tv, especially before Peter was born.

20. How did you spend Christmas? On the eve we stayed home and spent time with my family, though I ran around trying to pack that evening and did a lot of laundry, on Christmas we went down to the cities to see Dave's family, we saw my dad on the 26th, and a bunch of friends on the 27th.

21. Did you fall in love in 2010? Yes :)

22. What was your favorite TV program? Bones and Glee

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? I don't hate anyone so no.

24. What was the best book you read? I didn't read many books, I was grateful for the week by week pregnancy book.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? I don't think I really had one, or I just can't remember right now.

26. What did you want and get? A baby.

27. What did you want and not get? This is sort of a strange answer, but I wanted to go canoeing and never did.

28. What was your favorite film of this year? I liked Inception. I can't remember everything we saw. We went to Harry Potter post baby, that was a semi-big deal (leaving the house without baby).

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I think I wrote about this and how it was a bad day because I got so stressed at work but Dave made things better and took me out. I turned 28 but it was at the beginning of the year. Things seem a lot different this year. I was also thinking about how my first Christmas would have been close to my first birthday and how Peter was so young for his.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurable more satisfying? Time? I almost want to say working part-time... only because I'd like to think I could get more done and see more people.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010? It changed quite a bit, from sweaters, to maternity wear, to sweatpants and nursing tanks.

32. What kept you sane? Talking to Dave, my mom, my dad, talking to anyone with a new baby.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I always like to see what Natalie Portman is up to.

34. What political issue stirred you the most? Probably the health insurance stuff - but I've been really bad about keeping up with the news and politics.

35. Who did you miss? I miss just about everyone who comes to visit and then leaves. I don't mind travel, I just wish I could stay longer when I visit.

36. Who was the best new person you met? Peter, sometimes I still can't believe that Dave and I made a new person on this earth. It was awesome getting to meet the other new babies too, but every morning (and night feedings) I feel like I am meeting Peter again.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010. Cherish each moment you can because you never really get to live them again.